Awkward Silence

I stared at the screen. Your name stared back at me.

Just like the first time we held hands, you have never failed to make my heart skip a beat. Your name, your emails, your everything still have that strong hold over me. It feels surreal. It feels as though you have never left and are very much by my side. Except, the truth is, you have and you are not.

I spent the entire day staring at that four-letter word I once so affectionately called every single day; observing your status change from "Available" to "Away", then back to "Available". Where did you go? It must have been dinnertime, followed by that movie or your favourite tv show, then some work before calling it a day. You have managed to live life like normal and put that routine back into place. Does it feel the same without me around? A pointless question, I know. No answers ever, I am aware.

You were there. Seemingly within reach but in reality, not. The awkward silence was hard to bear. But to have you removed would be a million times worse. On the other side, were you also staring at the screen like I did and thinking of me deep inside...