Words

I thought I would not be affected. I thought I am over it. I thought you are out of my life. I thought many things but, thoughts are just thoughts. The reality remains an unknown or to be discovered. Which was the case today.

An email from you - just a simple one - left me in tears. Words that came out so freely from your mouth are however, stuck at my throat. To reach that level of yours, I would probably need a lot more time.

The impact you or us have on me - till this day, is a riddle to you. I said so because your words evidenced so. How sad is that and all I could do was laugh at myself. Just loads full of self-pity as I let the tears flow. The heartache still exists.

Perhaps you oughta have saved on the formalities. On the obligatory updates or "how are yous". Perhaps you should have jumped straight to the point. That forces me to focus on the crux of your email and not give undue attention to your other words - those "trying to be nice" words which I am not sure what to make of or how to take in.

I am sorry to hear what I heard. That is what I should focus on.