Distance

People say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Does it really? I sometimes wonder...

Has proximity or rather, its lack of, no dire effect on the bond between human beings? According to this saying, the lack of proximity can only make the butterflies in your stomach flutter their wings more furiously when the other is out of sight.

Or is the saying simply meant to lend confidence to those who are apart? Whether the statement is true or realistic really depends on the individual, doesn't it? Maybe a more accurate declaration would be "absence may make the heart grow fonder".

I wonder lots at times. Most of my thoughts are uncalled for and some are the weirdest ever. The word "distance" rang in my head last night as I laid in bed. It occurred to me how time and physical distance could become a damper in any relationship, be it love, kinship or friendship. Although I must admit, they seemed to have less impact on kinship - maybe blood does run thicker than water.

Other than kinship, all other bonds are at a higher risk of turning from the once-strong to fragile or even non-existent. If it is not in your heart to maintain or cherish that bond, I believe it will fade - only a matter of time. But sometimes, having the heart or willpower alone may not be enough. The powers of time and distance could be a lot stronger than what our heart or mind could handle or fight.

Someone once told me, "Both persons have to change at the same time and in the same direction in order for the bond they share to take the same path. Distance simply makes it harder for that to be achieved. They could very well end up in the opposite direction."

When it comes to love, people put in greater efforts. Because love is such a strong feeling. It is powerful and intense, controlling and all-consuming. It is a chemistry that could have you possessed and behave in a manner you may be ashamed of or find hard to explain. We all know, Cupid is blind - he shoots his little arrow as he deems fit. He is a child who is playful, rash and irrational - dictating what love is like for mortals like us. Hence the saying, "love is blind". And hence, we all say, "one doesn't go looking for love because love finds you".

Love and friendship bring up very different feelings in us. The company of a lover and the company of a friend, albeit both enjoyable, are never the same. Losing a lover and losing a friend, I believe, construct very different after-effects. The two scenarios evoke emotions of such different levels on a scale of 1 to 10. And of course, the same one will always emerge the victor - we all know who that is. Maybe it is this difference that makes a friendship that much easier to disintegrate with distance.

I wonder again how to keep a friendship going strong. Can a friendship withstand the test of time and distance? Not to mention, it takes two hands to clap.