Sleepless in Town

The nights are getting later with each passing day. Sometimes, they extend till the break of dawn when others are getting ready for the day ahead. Reflection and deep thoughts are the causes of my insomnia.

I have been thinking of a solution. A way out. Sitting in front of my lappy at the desk of my cosy room, I have not been able to come up with any alternatives other than packing my bags (again) and leaving for someplace new and far.

The adrenalin from starting afresh in a new environment, from having to deal with new people and different matters would take my mind off the unnecessary troubles in my current upside-down life. At least that was what happened many years back when I took off. It should work the same this time round, shouldn't it?

To run or not to run? And more importantly, where to?

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Chocolate Paradise in Summer

It is a warm month. Downing chocolate in this weather seems to be the exact path to a cough, sore throat and unsightly pimples. But when mixed with yogurt, it sounds like a completely different story, doesn't it? =)

Here's my Chocolate Yogurt Snack Cakes: Not too sweet, rather light and have a wonderful tinge of almond...

To top it off when serving for dessert or tea, some yogurt (instead of cream) with a generous dash of home-made berry or passionfruit syrup should most definitely make the day. *Slurp*

P/S: I'm pretty sure have eaten nearly half of the 36 little cakes I have baked so far...*utterly sinful*

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Joy and Love

"Joy" - She is in abundance

"Love" - She is pure with a tinge of passion

The two things I desire most in life.

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Days of Our Lives

This used to be my favourite soap opera during uni days. On days when I have no lectures or tutorials in school or days I could reach home before 1 o'clock in the afternoon, I never failed to turn on the TV to catch this dramatic and draggy US series.

If life is like "Days of Our Lives" or a TVB drama series, that would really be one big epic saga. Epic sagas, while enjoyable to watch in the fictitious world of television, are not the same fun when re-enacted in real life. Imagine being surrounded by drama kings and queens who make molehills out of nothing, create storms in a teacup, worse still, are scheming and backstab, and insist life is all about them. You could end up spending a large part of your life "suffering" under them in one way or another.

Life these days, has been exactly as I described earlier - just one big epic saga. Having spent my entire life in fear of incurring the wrath of a drama queen, I supposed I had enough. How often can one put up with that nonsense? How often can one tolerate those harsh words and cold stares? How often can one always take the first step to patch up? But most importantly, how can one really forgive and forget this time round?

Like a leopard who will never change its spots, a drama queen will forever be one. She is selfish, blames everyone for her unhappiness and failures and believes that she is the only creature worth paying attention to in this universe. She never reflects on her attitudes and behaviour, for it is always the fault of others, never hers. The day after the saga, she puts on the blackest of all faces simply to reiterate that stand. Everyone else reserves further comments - not because they believe she is right, but because they want to ease the tension. So the vicious cycle continues.

I feel lucky for these people if they have loved ones around them who could be slaves to their unreasonable demands. But I feel sorry for those loved ones for having to put up with the tiring dramas. She should find herself a "doormat" for I truly believe that is what she needs. Same applies to drama kings.

Experience taught me - there will never be an end. For as long as you give in to their whims and fancies, they will forever be the boss of you. The day you decided not to, there can only be two scenarios - one good and the other bad. Or if it's all too late, the outcome will just be bad.

My horoscope for June said, "You've outgrown certain habits, activities or people and need to let them go".

At the end of the day, I chose no longer to be a slave.

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Is that HIM?

He is tall, buff, handsome and slightly tan. His shoulders are broad, his chests are tight and his hands envelopes mine with his warm and firm clasp.

He is a man of few words but smiles as I speak. He carries an air of mystery like a man with a past, and for which I know never to probe.

Standing besides him, the butterflies fluttered their wings. But there is a strong sense of calm and security amidst the flurry of action in my stomach. I am on firm ground and safe in his hands.

There is something about this man that keeps me basking in "bliss" even an hour after I woke, and my heart beating faster than usual as I pen my thoughts. Something so befitting what I have always been looking for...

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Distance

People say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Does it really? I sometimes wonder...

Has proximity or rather, its lack of, no dire effect on the bond between human beings? According to this saying, the lack of proximity can only make the butterflies in your stomach flutter their wings more furiously when the other is out of sight.

Or is the saying simply meant to lend confidence to those who are apart? Whether the statement is true or realistic really depends on the individual, doesn't it? Maybe a more accurate declaration would be "absence may make the heart grow fonder".

I wonder lots at times. Most of my thoughts are uncalled for and some are the weirdest ever. The word "distance" rang in my head last night as I laid in bed. It occurred to me how time and physical distance could become a damper in any relationship, be it love, kinship or friendship. Although I must admit, they seemed to have less impact on kinship - maybe blood does run thicker than water.

Other than kinship, all other bonds are at a higher risk of turning from the once-strong to fragile or even non-existent. If it is not in your heart to maintain or cherish that bond, I believe it will fade - only a matter of time. But sometimes, having the heart or willpower alone may not be enough. The powers of time and distance could be a lot stronger than what our heart or mind could handle or fight.

Someone once told me, "Both persons have to change at the same time and in the same direction in order for the bond they share to take the same path. Distance simply makes it harder for that to be achieved. They could very well end up in the opposite direction."

When it comes to love, people put in greater efforts. Because love is such a strong feeling. It is powerful and intense, controlling and all-consuming. It is a chemistry that could have you possessed and behave in a manner you may be ashamed of or find hard to explain. We all know, Cupid is blind - he shoots his little arrow as he deems fit. He is a child who is playful, rash and irrational - dictating what love is like for mortals like us. Hence the saying, "love is blind". And hence, we all say, "one doesn't go looking for love because love finds you".

Love and friendship bring up very different feelings in us. The company of a lover and the company of a friend, albeit both enjoyable, are never the same. Losing a lover and losing a friend, I believe, construct very different after-effects. The two scenarios evoke emotions of such different levels on a scale of 1 to 10. And of course, the same one will always emerge the victor - we all know who that is. Maybe it is this difference that makes a friendship that much easier to disintegrate with distance.

I wonder again how to keep a friendship going strong. Can a friendship withstand the test of time and distance? Not to mention, it takes two hands to clap.

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Lucky Strike...

Just like all things bad can happen at one go, Lady Luck may sometimes pay us a visit many nights (or days) in a row. Maybe she feels bad. Maybe she wants to make up for those lousy days you've endured. These days, she seemed to have taken a liking to me. She must have heard my whinges and pleas in the middle of the night.

There are no complaints; only a body of contentment. Though not all she could grant, I am still thankful.

Mails and calls trickled in over the last couple of weeks with news of prizes won or freebies earned. The smile on my face was evident - for they were the exact things I wished for.

(Dusty and his new toy - "lion lion")

The wonderful things in life - some you may not have asked for. But somehow, they happened or somehow, you have them. And somehow, you do not always appreciate them till the day you have lost them.

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So Much So for Being a Hakka

To be able to call oneself a true blue Hakka, one should at least know more than a thing or two about its finger-licking good cuisine. Thyself, ahem, is proud to say she has advanced a step towards that.

Traditional Hakka Abacus Yam Seeds - made from scratch for Sunday lunch.

Making the abacus seeds was the most tedious part in this recipe. Not to mention - don't ask me how - I am allergic to yam sap! Now, I finally appreciate NeNe's and mum's hard work in preparing this much-liked dish during Chinese New Year and will not complain they do not make enough for the occasion ever.

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Yellow is Good, It's So Good

Nothing beats a cool mango sago at the end of a summer day *slurp* =)...or when I miss Hong Kong...

"Summer" is here. Apparently, it pays us a visit every year in June. Absurd as it may sound, there are seasons where I live - just not the spring, summer, autumn and winter we all know so well. Nonetheless, they are not to be belittled. Because the variations in weather can definitely be felt.

I love summer. Summer is good. Just not the summer in this fine city. The heat combined with utmost humidity translate to stickiness, perspiration and showers after showers. It's such a vicious cycle.

I hate to say this - but I hope the summer here ends soon.

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