Glue Addiction

If an email could have catastrophic effects in my little world, a text or online instant messaging session might just bring the same tiny world crumbling down. But last night, my world didn't crumble. It shook (and violently, it did) but stood intact.

The disruptive after-effects could not be avoided. The usual - emotions, thoughts and all are badly messed up. They are scattered all over the place and the owner feels lost and is clueless. She wonders, "Where to start and how to pick the pieces up (again)?"

But this time round, you added another task to my already-long list of "to-dos". And a task which is too huge for my scattered brain to handle. A decision I have to make. A decision, which to others, may seem effortless. But to me, requires strength, and yet more strength.

There were many things you said. The longest conversation we have had since two months back. But, a conversation which contained none of the words I yearned to hear. A conversation which I can yet hold normally. A conversation which only brought about tears and a confused mind.

Lil sis said, "Cut off all contacts with this person so you can move on. One day, when you have gotten over the past, you'll be able to face him again."

I understand her words. But I am afraid they are easier said than done. The feelings I have for you are hard to describe and even harder for others to understand. I have a serious glue addiction and I don't know if I could shake it.