Nene's Birthday

Nene - she was born in 1925. That makes her a a ripe 84 years old this year. She has lived through poverty and hardship, World War II, the sweetness of family love and also the pain of losing a daughter and husband. 84 years is a long time and it saddens me to know that she wouldn't be with me forever. As the clock continues ticking, the time I have left with Nene shortens.

Yesterday, the entire family was there to have lunch with Nene in celebration of her decades of living. She is a blessed lady - having all her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren with her on this special day. One grandchild did not turn up. She could but she didn't want to. I could tell Nene was disappointed.

My eyes are getting watery. Because I reminisce fondly of those days when I was younger and would cuddle in the arms of my Nene - feeling the love of this special grandmother who has doted on me since the day I was brought into the Universe. I wish she would never have to leave Earth so I could continue to call her Nene till the day I have to go.

A greater being up there brought us together as family. Out of the billions of people out there, we are bonded by blood and ties stronger than any others. Don't you think that is magical? I do.

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Words

I thought I would not be affected. I thought I am over it. I thought you are out of my life. I thought many things but, thoughts are just thoughts. The reality remains an unknown or to be discovered. Which was the case today.

An email from you - just a simple one - left me in tears. Words that came out so freely from your mouth are however, stuck at my throat. To reach that level of yours, I would probably need a lot more time.

The impact you or us have on me - till this day, is a riddle to you. I said so because your words evidenced so. How sad is that and all I could do was laugh at myself. Just loads full of self-pity as I let the tears flow. The heartache still exists.

Perhaps you oughta have saved on the formalities. On the obligatory updates or "how are yous". Perhaps you should have jumped straight to the point. That forces me to focus on the crux of your email and not give undue attention to your other words - those "trying to be nice" words which I am not sure what to make of or how to take in.

I am sorry to hear what I heard. That is what I should focus on.

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