Down and Out

I believe I am a truly positive character, or so I thought. In the midst of unhappiness, duress and all things bad, I could manage to take a deep breath and let out a smile. Smiling works like magic. It is the magical wand - dissipating the negative thoughts and making me feel "everything will be alright".

But lately, smiling has lost its magical powers. No matter how hard I try with tons of smiling, the negativity remains, the restlessness stays, and the desolation lingers. Whatever has happened to my magical wand?

Obstacle after obstacle. Failure after failure. Setback after setback. Removed one after another. Gotten over one after another. Through all these, can you truly stay positive, optimistic and upbeat about the future? I seriously wonder. I know I have tried but it sure is not easy.

Those nasty little things feed on your positivity, your confidence and your motivation. Like how a vampire drains his victim's blood till only a dry carcass remains. I feel I am close to becoming a dry carcass - especially after today. Seriously, ignorance is bliss. But that itself is an entirely separate story.

I look up at the sky. If there is a higher being up there, maybe it's time he/she lends me a hand and pull me up from the sinking sand. If Lady Luck does exist, maybe it's time she shines that much-needed luck down at me and nudge me out of the rut.

If only. Or is it really?