Ignorance is Bliss

I have always held on to this philosophy in life - Ignorance is Bliss.

Simple. Controversial. Yet I believe so firmly in it.

Can you handle the ultimate absolute truth in life? Can you accept its brutality (if that is the case)? Can you face it and move on? Some can. Some can't. But mostly it depends on how ugly the truth is and how horridly it would impact you. The extent is all relative anyway.

The truth, be it good or bad, is a revelation. Some find relief and comfort in the truth. Some find strength. Some, however, get hit so hard by that revelation that they cower in fear for a long time. Your nature will determine which category you fall into, I suppose.

Of course, whatever is said above applies more aptly to the ugly truth. The opposite, like all good news, is well-received and accepted as a matter of fact. Never to be doubted, questioned or ridiculed.

And truth, is simply a subset of the subject matter. A hidden fact, a never once-known piece of information, the discovery of a secret or someone's innermost thoughts, or even hearsay are other examples, if we just name a few.

Gaining knowledge of any of the above could have effects that go either way of the spectrum. On one end, you may have a clearer picture - be it someone's true colours, a lover's real intention, a friend's sincerity or your bosses' honest opinion of you. They will help you move on, improve and make better decisions.

But on the other hand, it could turn your life upside down. You harp on it and couldn't let go even if you wanted to. You become unhappy and judgmental. You form that second opinion despite how you truly feel about someone. You can no longer live in ignorant bliss.

That was what scares me the most.

As I type on and my thoughts become a tangled mess, I realised what my initial thought was when I started my first sentence. That I rather live in ignorant bliss. For the short 40 odd or less years that i have remaining on Planet Earth, I truly rather live in ignorant bliss. To know or not to know the many things in life, is it really all that important?

Perhaps such an attitude or life philosophy is a true sign of weakness. And perhaps I held on to such a belief because I am too afraid to face life's realities.

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Down and Out

I believe I am a truly positive character, or so I thought. In the midst of unhappiness, duress and all things bad, I could manage to take a deep breath and let out a smile. Smiling works like magic. It is the magical wand - dissipating the negative thoughts and making me feel "everything will be alright".

But lately, smiling has lost its magical powers. No matter how hard I try with tons of smiling, the negativity remains, the restlessness stays, and the desolation lingers. Whatever has happened to my magical wand?

Obstacle after obstacle. Failure after failure. Setback after setback. Removed one after another. Gotten over one after another. Through all these, can you truly stay positive, optimistic and upbeat about the future? I seriously wonder. I know I have tried but it sure is not easy.

Those nasty little things feed on your positivity, your confidence and your motivation. Like how a vampire drains his victim's blood till only a dry carcass remains. I feel I am close to becoming a dry carcass - especially after today. Seriously, ignorance is bliss. But that itself is an entirely separate story.

I look up at the sky. If there is a higher being up there, maybe it's time he/she lends me a hand and pull me up from the sinking sand. If Lady Luck does exist, maybe it's time she shines that much-needed luck down at me and nudge me out of the rut.

If only. Or is it really?

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Forgotten, Or Not.

Busy and immersed. So much so that I have forgotten.

Is this a good sign? Or is this bad? I don't know and I better not think.

I should have gone to bed when I should. I wouldn't have recalled if I had.

I should not have looked at that calendar when I shouldn't. I would have completely forgotten if I hadn't.

Maybe it happened for a reason. Maybe some great force out there wants me to remember.

Or maybe I have never forgotten. I simply have it tucked away in this little corner in my heart.

It, however, has a mind of its own. And comes out against my will. To make my emotions swell and tears flow. And my mind full of you.

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Crushed

I went to bed past 3am last night. My plan was to get up in an hour's time to watch the US Open Men's Final LIVE on cable. Yes - rather naive and optimistic because I didn't manage to in the end. Although I did get up at 4am to turn the room lights off and blow off the candle.

Nevertheless, I did not forget about the Open when I woke in the morning. The first thing I did was to turn on my computer, initially attempting to search the TV guide for repeat of the match but ended up checking the results.

Crushed - that's probably the best word to describe how I felt when I saw the headlines. How could that happen?!?! Roger was supposed to nail this Open and claim his Grand Slam record in tennis history. Now, I absolutely detest Del Potro. Childish, I know. But who cares?!

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Baby Love

So this is how you feel when you have a baby.

In my entire 30 years on Planet Earth, I have only called two subjects "my baby". One is the better-not-to-mention-you-know-who and the other is precious Dusty.

But on September 9, another important subject joined the list. Baby GE arrived on Planet Earth that fateful day. She is healthy and good-spirited, and is taking on the world with her little strong will to survive.

Welcome to this world, Baby GE. Together, we will take on the world (in your baby steps) and enjoy this whole new experience. =) *lurve*

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Till The End of Time

Today is a day of mixed feelings. Excited as I am over the whole new project which I recently launched. Lonely do I feel because you are not by my side on this beautiful day.

Sitting at my desk, I wonder how many couples would be tying the knot on this fateful day. Or if not, I am sure there would be the likely proposals, the romantic dinners and lovely flowers. Unfortunately, I am not a lucky girl - none of the above is for me to enjoy.

In a few weeks' time, 2 years would have passed since the day you made me the happiest woman on earth. I was luckiest then. Happiest then. Maybe I have answered the question I posed myself last night.

Emotions and thoughts are moving like currents through my body and mind. Why do I feel especially emotional on this particular day in September? I suppose it is self-inflicted. After all, today is just like any other day.

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